Day 6

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;

It is these wise words of Kipling I am trying to follow as I sit here in my room, nursing yet another cold, and struggling to put the disappointment of the weekend behind me.

Let's give this some context.

The Blue:
Sportsmen and women at the University of Cambridge may be awarded a Full Blue (or simply a Blue), Half Blue, First Team Colours or Second Team Colours for competing at the highest level of university sport, which must include being in a Varsity match or race against the University of Oxford. A Full Blue is the highest honour that may be bestowed on a Cambridge sportsman or woman, and is a much-coveted and prestigious prize. In general, the Full Blue standard is approximately that of being successful at a national level of student competition, and the Half Blue standard is that of being successful at county or regional level.

The process for obtaining a Blue for Badminton is simple - finish in the Round of 16 at the National University Badminton Tournament (known as the BUCS Individuals), and then play in Varsity.

Well, the weekend just gone marked the date of the aforementioned tournament, and looking back, disappointment aside, what a ride it was.

My partner and I have been playing together for two years now, having formed the pairing in my 2nd year. Each year, we have been entered in the BUCS Individuals. In our first year, we got knocked out in the 1st Round. Last year, we progressed to Round 2, only to lose to a pair from Swansea in 3 games after dominating them early on.

During that period, we also played in the Varsity 1st team, which gave us both a half-blue each.

I was happy with that accolade, and seeing as neither of us were of national standard, the award seemed to reflect our level quite well.

We went into this tournament with few expectations - our goal simply was to progress one round further than we had previously.

My tournament began on the Friday morning, setting off at 7.45am with the Mens Singles players. We arrived in Nottingham at the sports centre with plenty of time for the sign-ups, and I soaked in the atmosphere as teams from all over the country convened on the sports multi-plex. There is something special about the atmosphere at a Badminton tournament to me; the hum of the players chatting in the waiting areas, the squeaks of shoes on the courts, the shouts of jubilation and despair, sounds of well struck shuttles (they make a very satisfying "bang" when you hit them cleanly), the sounds of the PA system ringing out match announcements, and of course, the loud cheers of the supporters.

I wish I could play in more tournaments.

Friday saw two of our singles players progress through to the Saturday (meaning thay had each won 2 matches). It also saw two of our mixed pairs progress too - a fantastic performance.

We went to bed that night a mostly satisfied team.

Saturday morning saw the beginning of the Men's Doubles tournament. This year, there had been more entries for Men's Doubles than ever before, resulting in a draw which was 256 wide. This meant that a lot of players had gotten Byes into the 2nd round, however, we didn't.

Our first match was against a pair from Gloucester. As we stepped onto court, around 3pm in the afternoon, my nerves were jangling badly - they always do for the first match of a tournament.

I don't really remember the details of that first match, save that I was tense, and threw away quite a few points with mistakes. However, my partner kept his composure, and we pulled through comfortably in the end 21-16, 21-18.

Our second match came up shortly after, and, having broken the duck as it were, I was much more relaxed. We recognised one of our adversaries as someone we had played (and beaten before), and we played our game with confidence to take another comfortable win 21-14, 21-18.

We were in the Round of 64 - where we had gotten to last year, with one more match to win to reach our goal.

Our next match was called, but because of the terrible acoustics in the hall, we couldn't hear our names. This led to us making it to the court in the nick of time; another minute later and we would have been scratched from the tournament. The late arrival meant we were left with hardly any time to warm up properly. However, we approached the match with a good mindset, and easily took the first game 21-12.

Our opponents responded in the next game. I can't really remember the details of it, but we lost it 11-21.

We refocused however, and in the third end matched them point for point until it was something around 12 all. At that point, I sensed a change in their mentality; it was as if they had lost the fight - they were slower to the shuttle and felt a lot less aggressive. I knew at that point we had won. We ended up taking the game 21-13.

We were through to Sunday, to face the 9/16 seeds, and were absolutely ecstatic. We had reached our tournament goal, and reached the Round of 32.

As we were called onto Court 7 for our match on Sunday morning, I didn't feel nervous at all - only excited. There were no expectations on our shoulders; they were the seeded pair, we were the underdogs.

The first match got underway after a short period of warming up. It was a slow start from both pairs, however, as the points were won and lost, we realised we were keeping up with them.

We kept the pressure up, by being very aggressive and coming into the net as fast as possible. They had a good defence for smashes, but seemed to be unable to deal with the fast game coming from the front of the net and when under pressure, they kept making mistakes by lifting too short, or wide.

We began to pull ahead towards the end of the game, and took what felt like quite a comfortable 21-17 win. I think we were playing some of the best Badminton we had ever played, given the occasion.

At the interval my partner and I turned to each other.

"We can do this," I said, "Come on, let's step it up, we're out for blood."

He nodded at me. This was our chance.

As the second game began, we tried to play the same aggressive way we had in the first, but it wasn't working. Our adversaries had changed their tactics, and instead chose to slow the pace down, they made sure their lifts were high and deep, and we had trouble breaking their defence. They would make counter-attacks off our smashes and we would be put on the defensive immediately, which is how you lose at Men's Doubles.

Indeed, their tactic switch was so successful that at one point we trailed 15-6. However, once we realised what their plan was, we changed the way we played too, choosing not to go on the all-out offensive. Instead we mixed in some punch clears and deceptive drops to move them out of position before smashing for the win. Unfortunately, we were too far behind to make much of a comeback, and lost the second game 12-21.

And so, we entered the deciding set. We started the 3rd set on even terms with them, and we matched them point for point. Neither pair were able to open up a lead until the interval, however, we discovered that one of the players had a lot of trouble returning smashes across his body, and focused our attacking efforts on him. Unfortunately, they had also figured out that I was quite weak at returning drives down the middle from the serve and used that advantage to pressure our serve a lot.

However, we still managed to open up a 2 point gap at the interval. The score was 11-9 as we switched ends. The second half saw a repeat of the first half, with both sides very evenly matched, some great tactical rallies were played as both sides had a very good defence compared with the other side's attack, so it was down to who could manoeuvre the other pair around to get a kill from the mid-court or the net.

We proved to be the better at this game, and as the match got towards the business end, we were leading 19-17.

Two points. A full blue was only two points away. The nerves suddenly gripped me.

I don't remember exactly how the last four points played out, but it went something like this:

They served, and we got on the attack, I smashed, and they defended with a very deep lift. I left it, perhaps a part of me wishing that it would go out, the shuttle landed an inch in. 19-18.

My partner turned to me.

"We just need one more point."

If we had gotten to 20, we would have put them under tremendous pressure.

The next point, I tried to attack off their serve, and ended up pushing the shuttle just long. This let the score go to 19-19.

Another serve, another short rally. I don't remember what happened, but this gave them match point. 19-20.

It was my receive of serve. As I stepped up to receive, my heart hammered in my chest - this was the do or die moment. I had pushed several service returns into the net before, and also one just long. I knew that if I lifted, it would probably end badly - I had to make the return flat.

He served, and I made a good flat drive. Our opponents returned with another good drive, which my partner pushed in a drop. However, the other pair were onto the net faster - perhaps sensing their opportunity, and managed to push the shuttle past me deep into the backhand corner. My partner tried to scramble to lift it clear, but unfortunately it went into the net.

21-19. Game over.

I forced a smile as I shook their hands. I felt numb inside - I couldn't really comprehend what had happened. It was only on the drive back that it sank in, we were two points away, and we choked.

Now, I know right now I am in a world of disappointment, and probably will be for a few days, but I am still immensely proud of what we have achieved.

Without wishing to dramatise, and looking back on the weekend now, what happened was like an Olympic moment for me. I doubt that I will ever take part in such a high level tournament ever again (the top seeds in the tournament are all ex junior national and international players), let alone make it through to the last 32. We played out of our skins all weekend, and although we were favoured by a good draw, we still had to play good Badminton to advance. And it wasn't like we were completely outmatched at the end; we had the skill in our hands but just lacked a slight amount of mental composure (or at least I did, I don't know how my partner felt).

For me, it feels like that although we didn't take home the gold, we got the silver; I can be happy with that.

I kept one of the shuttles that we practised with in the squash courts prior to the match, and I've written the scores of our last match on the cork.

It's not something I'll forget.